Saturday, February 11, 2006

Useful Parenting Books

You're Wearing That? Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation by Deborah Tannen

Though this book doesn't promises a rescue plan but it gives you a very insightful view of relationship between mothers and their daughters. This book is about how words develop a relationship between them and the focus is on how words work and how they could send a negative or totally different message. This book doesn't gives you the tools to overcome those conversations but it does make you realize how daughters and mothers talk to eachother and how it sometimes leads to troubled situations. Deborah Tannen is also author of Best selling "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation" Which described the communication between women and men in the same fashion as her new book. For the trouble teenage years see the next book in this list.

Stop Negotiating With Your Teen
: Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody, or Depressed Adolescent by Janet Sasson Edgette

This book is for parents who need permission to be parents. Author Janet Edgette advises a firm and authoritive approach to deal with teenage years. It may sound rude to some parents and teenagers but it is not rude. Janet talks about balance between freedom and discipline for growing kids. An user wrote a review to this book for college psychology course:
Many parents abdicate their responsibility to enforce consequences when their child misbehaves because they want to avoid conflict and hope the teen will grow out of this phase. In particular, many seem to subscribe to the sociocultural myth that teens are prone to mood swings due to "hormones run amok", and "can't help being moody and should be excused for it". Edgette points out that these "bad moods" typically blow over, and parents' acceptance of rude behavior to avoid conflict simply leads to loss of authority and greater conflicts. Another myth is that teens need "free rein" to learn autonomy. She reminds us that giving "free rein" is easy, but it should be balanced with direction and accountability so kids learn not just how to make decisions, but how to make good decisions. A final myth is that teens "don't like talking with their parents about serious issues and concerns". Edgette explains that teens do listen, but parents should avoid being patronizing or judgmental, and keep the conversation in the form of a dialogue, not a lecture.
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